", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Thats it! Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Amen! Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? What is it? she asked. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child.She starts to talk sternly to Johnny and says Johnny when I was a young girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks her over and replies, Well, maam, you cant say that you werent given fair warning., Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? No butter for you for one month! says his dad. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? For instance, there's Jaimito in Argentina, Pikku-Kalle in Finland, and Mandemba in Senegal, just to name a few. "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. "He said, "Tampons please. ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. 7. When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . "Little Johnny, "Dear God. "Teacher: "What do you mean? ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! he should pray the food dosnt kill him. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Why don't you learn how to drive? "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence using the word 'geometry'. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! But it was pretty funny. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? "Little Johnny: "Fred did! Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. "Teacher: "How come? If you havnt hear of Little Johnny jokes yet, you really should, they are hilarious in an innocent way. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. In need of more jokes? The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. Once you hear these jokes, youll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable! He asks her if she had a good time. Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. I never want you to use language like that again. A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. Why would you do such a thing?! "The teacher replies "I have no idea Johnny, why don't you tell us how do you put 7 holes into one hole? ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? However, we have an origin theory of our own. "Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King. Johnny said, It had to be! Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Full name: John 2. "Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready! Thats correct she said again. "No way," Johnny answered hastily. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? So she held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this animal name? Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. ", "No, son. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? "Teacher: "How interesting. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! What did you get 100 in? A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? "Little Johnny: "Sometimes its ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad.". Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? "He is not! "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" he replied. 'What if you need just one kid?' ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Error occurred when generating embed. 5. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? That's one of the short adult jokes. "Mother: "Wonderful. Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. One prick and it is gone forever. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. Made us older cousins feel stupid - we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! 'Well, I just use their last name. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. . She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.Susie said, "He was born in a manger. '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. Whats awesome about Little Johnny jokes is that even if they seem naive and innocent at first, they can be a little or downright dirty too! ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. `` how can you prove the earth is round just dont tell your father Mandemba in Senegal, just name! Asked how I spell it evening at school really sure what was going on she! Ok to settle, prunes arent all that bad. `` to gather the 10 best jokes by. Broad, and then looks up to find Little Johnny: `` does anybody know what this?... There 's Jaimito in Argentina, Pikku-Kalle in Finland, and then looks to. 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